30-Day Intentional Marriage Challenge

Imagine that old couple you know that is still in love even after 60 years of marriage. How did they do it when over half of marriages in the US end in divorce these days? Is there something you can do to help your relationship with your spouse really thrive? 

Happy marriages don’t just happen – they take work. If you are interested in building habits that will improve your relationship with your spouse, I would encourage you to join Korey and me in the 30-Day Intentional Marriage Challenge and take steps toward having a beautiful marriage relationship. You can join the facebook group to share your progress, sign up below for weekly emails during the challenge, and/or share your photos on Instagram using #intentionalmarriagechallenge.

Intentional Marriage Challenge

Daily

• One text per day

• Tell your spouse one compliment/thing you are thankful for about him/her

• One intentional nonsexual touch (long hug, hold hands, etc)

• 10 min uninterrupted face-to-face talk

• Pray together (each person prays)

Weekly

• Week 1: Outside activity
• Week 2: Play a game
• Week 3: Accomplishments and goals
• Week 4: Alphabet date

Details:

April 1-30

The challenge will start April 1 and run through April 30. The daily activities are to all be done every day. There is one weekly activity for each week in April.

Strive for Novelty

Novelty is helpful! Try to do some different things than you usually do. For example, if you often go for hikes, try to do something different for your outdoor activity. Maybe get breakfast and watch the sunrise or curl up under some blankets and look at the stars.

Fit to Your Needs

The order of the weekly activities can be rearranged to fit your schedule. Since weekly childcare is not feasible for everyone, the weekly activities can be done at home while the kids are sleeping or otherwise entertained. You can go out for them as well, though, if you’d like. Tailor them to be as simple or elaborate as your situation allows. However, I do encourage you to arrange childcare and get away from the house for at least one of the weekly activities.

Adapt any of the daily activities as needed to best fit your needs. Not everyone will choose to pray together, but unless you are strongly opposed, I would encourage you to give it a try!

Accountability Matters

Doing this with a community of friends will have a tremendous effect on your success. I highly encourage you to have people you are doing this with. Check in on each other, and encourage one another’s success! You can also sign up for weekly encouragement emails, join the facebook group where we will be sharing our progress, and/or share on Instagram using #intentionalmarriagechallenge.

Details on weekly activities:

Play a game: This can be a board game, a physical activity game, whatever. Just something that will be fun for both of you.

An outdoor activity: This might be going for a hike, having a picnic, riding bikes, etc. Again, try to find something different than you usually do, and definitely try to make it intentional together time, not time to get a chore done.

Accomplishments and dreams: Get a piece of paper or a computer, and write up things you have accomplished together as a couple. Maybe you have bought a house, had kids, started a business, moved to your dream location, taken a trip you always wanted to take, volunteered somewhere, etc. Write it down! Next, make a list of things you want to accomplish together. All those dreams? Write them down! (And if you want to take it up a level, read Vivid Vision and create a vivid vision specifically for your marriage.) Then take a selfie of the two of you! Afterward, you can post your lists along with your picture somewhere you will see it often.

Alphabet date: Write each letter of the alphabet on a small piece of paper (you can exclude x if you want to play it safe!), and draw one randomly. Whatever letter you get, theme your date night around that letter. The more unique the better! Example, if you draw a C, you can Cook Crepes in the Candlelight then Cuddle while watching Casablanca. If you draw an A, you can get Apple fritters and go Axe throwing.

Further Resources

If you want some help stimulating conversation during any of these activities, you can purchase couples conversation cards from Amazon that provide various questions to discuss. I also found the book “Share Your Stuff. I’ll Go First. 10 Questions to Take Your Friendships to the Next Level” by Laura Tremaine to have great questions to discuss.

Success is more likely when you track your progress! Print the list of activities and a daily tracker here!

Sign up here for the weekly Intentional Marriage Challenge emails!